Self - Confession
Ratnakar Pachhisi
Shri Ratnakar Pachhisi
Shri -A denotation of respect
Ratnakar-Ocean of jewels
Pachhisi-25 Verses
Ratnakar Pachhisi is the confession,of self,of a highly respectable and knowledgeable Acharya (saint of high order) to the Lord.This (confession) would be applicable to almost all lives,that rotate aimlessly in this cycle of life and death.We all are responsible for committing sins,big or small,in our day to day lives;hence it is all the more important and relevant to us.
Ratnakar Pachhisi is the result of the following narration:
Long long ago,there used to be a wealthy Lord.He was very religious and a noble soul.One day his inner call became so overwhelming,he decided to give up all worldly pleasures and became a saint,a monk.Under the guidance of a worthy guru (teacher),he studied the religious scripts,did penance and gradually developed himself to the order of an Acharya!When he had renounced the world,he had given away all his personal possessions...all but some priceless jewels which his greed did not let him part with.So even after renunciation,after becoming a saint,he held on to the jewels by hiding them in his walking stick,which was hollow.He let go of every possession but could not get over his greed for the jewels.
Whenever he was alone,he used to take the jewels out of the stick,look at them and with a feeling of satisfaction,hid them back.Once,this act was seen by another wealthy lord of the same town.He was deeply disturbed and hurt,that the Acharya,who practiced severe penance and who was so highly learned,was caught in the web of greed of his jewels.If only he could get over his this greed then salvation was guaranteed to the Acharya.so thinking he turned back and walked away.He became engrossed in deep thought as to how could he free the Acharya of this (only) hurdle of salvation.
The next day onwards, the Lord made it ritual to attend the Acharya's discourses every morning.Every day after discourse,the Lord approached the Acharya and said that he's not able to understand the meaning of discourse in depth.This went on for days.One day this made the Acharya wonder as to why did the Lord do this everyday.
So thinking,it suddenly dawned on him that unless he got over his desire of the jewels,he cannot attain Salvation and Supreme Knowledge and thus would not be able to preach the same.Thus he got over his desire of the jewels and got rid of them and attained Supreme Knowledge.And from the next day on,the Lord did not complain of not being able to understand the meaning of the discourse.
The Acharya was quiet learned and realized his folly of having clung to the jewels and thus was full of remorse.He opened his heart out to the Lord which resulted in Ratnakar Pachhisi,the Confession.
Shri Ratnakar Pachhisi:
O Lord Arihant ! You are like a temple of Salvation and the entire auspicious creativeness!
You are being served by Indra,God of Heaven and human beings.
You are Lord of Supreme Knowledge,and are the Blesseror to all.
Lord!You are the possessor of infinite Knowledge,which is eternal. .....1
You are the supporter of Universe,you are incarnate of Compassion.You are the healer of all worldly sorrows.
O dispassionate Lord of Universe,I come forward to confess to you.
Though,through Divine powers,You very well know what I have come for,I still confess to you to lighten the burden of my heart. .....2
Do not children play their childish pranks and speak unashamedly,but out of innocence,
Whatever comes out of their mouth,to their parents?
I have come to you,O Lord,like a child,to confess the real facts of my life,truthfully.
There are no lies in what I speak. .....3
I have never given any charity-nor have I been strictly virtuous.
I have never practised penance on my body-nor have I been pure on thoughts.
Out of all the four virtues,I have done nothing about it (and hence),
I have failed miserably in the birth-rebirth cycles. .....4
I have burnt myself in Anger,I have been bitten by the greed serpent,
I have been swallowed by the Pride cobra,....In these series of guilt,how can I look up to You?
(out of embarrassment)
I am totally confused by the web of conceits and desires.
Controlled by Anger,Greed,Arrogance,Pride and Passionate desire,
My soul is being crushed and makes me remorseful. .....5
I have not been able to gain happiness,even the slightest bit,because
I have not done my good deed in this birth nor in the previous births.
O Lord Jina!My incarnations have simply been lost in just completing the life cycles aimlessly.
I have lost the game (opportunity to get out of these cycles) by sheer ignorance. .....6
Even the nectar stripping from your moonlit face has not soften my heart.
O Lord! what shall I do ?
My heart is tougher than stone-how do I expect it to soften ?
Iam really tired of my monkey-like minded thoughts. .....7
While roaming through innumerable Birth cycles,because of your blessings and favour,
I have had a glimpse of True Knowledge of aspect of life and a glimpse of Eternal truth,
But alas! Because of my utter negligence and carelessness,I have lost the Opportunity.
O Lord! To whom shall I express such blunders ?-but You ! .....8
To defraud the people,I donned the robes of Ascetic.
I have misused the preaching of Religion just to entertain the people.
I have gained Knowledge for the sake of arguments (debate) and such deceits are countless.
I pretended to be and ascetic from the outside,but in reality,Iam a hypocrite (a fraud) on the inside. .....9
I have fouled my mouth by always blemishing (mocking) other people.
I have abused my eyesight by always looking (starring) passionately at other women.
I have blemished my mind by contemplating evil thoughts about others.In this way I have considered myself to be smart.
O Lord ! what will happen to me now ? .....10
My heart is tormented by the terribly slaughter of the lustful desires.
I am highly disgraced because of my blind pursuits of sensual desires.
It has been brought to your knowledge with disgrace on my part.
Since,you know everything ....O Lord ! Please pardon my offenses. .....11
I have neglected the Navkar Mantra,thinking it to be of no importance.
With words from misguiding religious texts,I have destroyed the eloquence of the
True Prophecy ( "aagam shastra").
By associating myself with the wicked deity,I have indulged myself in useless actions.(karma)
Under the influence of illusion,I lost the true jewels in unknowingly going after pieces of glass. .....12
O Lord Mahavir ! Your vision had come to me on my life-path,but bypassing the opportunity,
I,the most stupid one,have endeared (surrendered) to the bow of Cupid. (i.e. sexual passion.)
I have been looking intensely and passionately at the dove eyes,beautiful breasts,naval and the slender waists of beautifully decorated women. .....13
I have been starring at the moonlike stunningly beautiful faces of voluptuous women,and that has created very deep lustful impressions on my mind,which I am not able to remove even with the oceanful of water.
O Lord ! Please tell me the reason for this and also guide me to be away from these sins. .....14
My body is neither beautiful nor a virtuous assemblage.
I do not possess blazing (eye catching) appearance nor do I have artistic taste.
I am moving around with unbending (uncompromising) arrogance,though I have no greatness.
Simply,I am playing the game of Chopat (ancient Indian form of chess) i.e. moving in the web of four stages of the Karmic Soul (i.e. Hell-Heaven-animals and human form of birth cycles).
Life is waning but sinful intentions are not !
Hope for life is shrinking but sensual desires do not fade.
I take medicines (for physical well being),but never took interest in Religion.
Intoxicated by fascination,I go around building houses without foundation. .....16
I have lent my ears with palatable taste to the misguiding talk of unreal and untrue nature and believed that there is nothing like (1) soul (2) other world (birth cycle) (3) Righteousness and (4) Sins.
O Enlighten one ! You,Yourself with True Eternal Knowledge,like light from sun rays,were there,but ignoring you I have fallen in a well in spite of holding a lamp in my hand.
Truly, I am to be condemned. .....17
I have never worshiped a deity or a worthy one,in the true spirit,nor have I observed moral behavior of an ascetic or that of a householder,desirous of getting Absolution.
O Lord ! In spite of (being fortunate enough) being born as a human, I slipped away through a battlefield (I succumbed to the evil pleasures instead of grabbing the opportunity of attaining the state of Self-Realization) .
My life has been in vain like that of a washerman's dog. .....18
I brooded over the desired for the Wish Granting Cow (Kamadhenu),the Wish Granting Tree (Kalpataru), and the jewels,which were illusionary,but still, I wish for them with intense desire.
O Lord ! I did not nourish the evident religion propounded by You.
Please have mercy on me,when looking at my foolish thoughts. .....19
I have contemplated all the pleasures but never thought of the (associated) diseases.
I have welcomed the Riches and Treasures,but did not recognize Death,nor have I thought Hell and that women (passions)are like prisons.
In the hope of getting honey and spirituous liquors,I have forgotten about the terrible results. .....20
By not performing pure deeds, I could not reach (have an access) to the ascetics hearts.
I could not earn glory and fame by obligatory and helpful deeds.
I have not done anything for the salvation of the place of pilgrimage.
Thus,aimlessly and uselessly,I have been rotating in the viscous circle of 8.4 millions birth cycles. .....21
I could not get detached from the worldly affairs,even by the sermons of spiritual guides, and,by following only the path shown by wicked people,how can I expect any peace ?
I have no spiritual inclination,then how can get over the problems of the materialistic world ?
Like,how can a bottomless jar,be filled with water ? .....22
O Great Lord ! I have not lead a virtuous and moral lives in previous births nor have I any religious merits in the present one,then how can lead a virtuous life in the (forth) coming birth ?
I have lost Past,Present, and the Future.
It is like I am hanging,without any support in the sky like Swami Trishanku, (reference Mahabharat) .....23
Or,am I babbling too much,my Lord ? O! venerable of the deities ! In-fact,this is my own story,my own character !
You possess the Supreme Knowledge of all the three worlds -when compared to this phenomenon,what is the significance of my story to You ?
It is as insignificant as like talking about a penny against the account of Billions and Trillions. .....24
O! Greatest of great Lord ! Who is powerful than you to guide me to Salvation ? None other !
You will not find another miserable and distressed person like me in the whole world,to deserve your Blessings !
I wish no more,for Riches.I wish to have the good fortune to be on the path of Salvation.
If you bless me with the jewel of Equanimity ( Samyak Darshan),it shall give me the contentment and satisfaction,and quench my thirst for Salvation ! .....25
End.
Compiled By
Mahendra Jogani
23rd Feb.1999
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